How To Get Rid Of Beef Curtains Without Surgery

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"I had a labiaplasty when I was 18 as I was insecure about my vagina's appearance. Now I have so much confidence and love for my body."

I had a labiaplasty when I was 18. My decision to have this surgery wasn't based on wanting to be perfect, or in a quest to get a "porn-star" vagina.

For years I had been exposed to comments, opinions and visuals about the appearance of vaginas, which lead to me becoming insecure about mine. These opinions and images came from friends, TV shows such as Embarrassing Bodies (the title says it all), porn and society in general.

"Meat flaps", "beef curtains" and "smashed-up vagina" are common slang terms used to describe longer labia. It's not hard to hear or see these comments as they are plastered all over the internet and embedded in people's minds.

For a young woman who is trying to be comfortable in her own skin and become strong and independent, such terms are not easy to just "get over", despite how many tend to think.

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We are born this way and we would give anything to love ourselves and be happy with our own body, but unfortunately this is not the case for many, including me. When I was exposed to these comments I grew to hate myself, my image and my vagina.

Due to society's visual portrayal of a "normal" vagina, I slowly become self-conscious and hyper-aware of what my vagina looked like compared to what was seen as the "ideal". This led to me not feeling comfortable getting changed around my friends, as they had already remarked that mine was different to theirs.

At this time it was hard to embrace difference as it was deemed as ugly and undesirable. Over the years I went into some pretty dark places, as I was unable to change my body to fit the "norm", which resulted in lack of confidence, especially with partners.

Labiaplasties are often viewed as a mutilation to a woman's body and I can understand how some people and cultures see it as so, but in my experience it was anything but.

The surgeon didn't agree to my procedure lightly, resulting in many conversations including my parents. Talking to my mum about what I wanted done was one of the hardest things I've ever done as I was embarrassed about how I looked, and admitting it, but also that I wasn't confident and "strong enough" to overcome my insecurities.

Many people say that letting a child undergo this procedure is bad parenting, but I strongly disagree as all parents want their children to be happy and love themselves. Although my mum did not agree with the procedure, she understood how important it was to me and supported me throughout the process. She had the same views as many others do - "Why change yourself? It's the way you were born". Her support during this difficult and dark time was what got me through it.

At this time another relative also expressed her anxiety and frustration about her long labia. She completely understood how I felt and how it could affect many aspects of your life. This made me feel like I wasn't alone and that I wasn't "weird" or "dramatic".

I wanted to publish my personal experience as I feel a voice like mine is lacking. Many people pass judgement on a matter they have no experience or knowledge of, especially as some women need the procedure to relieve discomfort and pain. People do not take any of this into account and aren't open-minded to the reasons behind such actions.

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I am now 22 and I want to tell all New Zealanders that I wholeheartedly do not regret having this procedure as I now have so much confidence and love for my body, which I did not have before.

This doesn't mean I want every girl with a longer labia to have a labiaplasty, as I believe society should change before women do, but unfortunately this is not the reality; women are just reacting to the body image messages society sends.

If society portrayed love for the range of vaginas out there, then I don't think I would have experienced the self-hate.

People need to stop blaming women and girls for feeling and acting the way they do about the appearance of their vaginas. Instead of judging and ridiculing those who have labiaplasties, or wish to, we all must take a closer look at why women feel and act certain ways and what we can do to help.